Dear my lovely readers,
I know we haven’t talked in a while and I just wanted to explain why you haven’t seen much of me on here. First and foremost, I was in the midst of what I called “a blogging crisis.” This blogging crisis was formally surface level, but the more I thought about, I discovered it was deeper that just that. Today I want to go off the record and explain this crisis and tell you about the light I have recently discovered.
To start off, I have been getting some major anxiety in how I want to express myself. I have lost touch with what I want you all to see. I was doing well and then something took over me! THE SOCIAL MEDIA EXPLOSION!! I noticed that I would get anxious in the way that I was trying to show myself to you via social media (mainly Instagram). I was consumed with this to the point that I would specifically do things just so they would make a great picture. How terrible is that?? I feel like a fraud and a fake. However, I don’t want to make my self feel that way, as I am a good person. I just want to change the way I present myself to my lovely readers.
I would buy specific items just so they would make a great photo. I would eat specific food just because it looked pretty. I would even go out of my way to travel to certain destinations (driving wise, not plane wise! I’m not that well off lol) just for a good shot. Its not that I didn’t enjoy buying these things, or traveling to them it was that I lost touch in exactly what I was looking at. I thought more about a photo instead of the beauty in the image that we were all looking at. Take Coachella for instance, everyone there (including me) was all about a photo and proving to people that you were cool and that you were actually there. Behind that lovely photo of me with the ferris wheel, were a bunch of others doing the same thing just for a good photo.
I finally started to understand what I was projecting when in the midst of a Børns performance, I was taking so many Snapchats that the girl behind me literally shook me and said “STOP! Live in the moment dude! Enjoy what is in front of you.” I was taken back and a little offended that she was in my personal business, but later I realized she was right! I should have been enjoying this extremely talented performer who is an art form in himself, instead of trying to prove “something” to all of you. Yeah you may have enjoyed it, but I need to limit myself. One would have been enough.
Essentially I want to give you something that is no longer contrived, and more me. Some of you may have thought that this was me, but to me it really wasn’t. This doesn’t mean that I can’t take some of the same photos I already have, it just I want to feel better when taking them. I want them to be more natural and less tried. I want to show you that it is okay to re-wear your pieces you have. It seems as if bloggers have an endless supply of clothing, and it is true that some do. However, I don’t! It is so expensive to buy new things all the time and it is tiring. Most of all I want to show the creativity and the art of what I am wearing, seeing, and eating! I have a passion for what I do, but sometimes we need to get a little lost to realize how much more passionate we need to be.
Here’s to creating anew and restructuring the way we want to be seen. Thank you for letting me go off the record for a bit. Now back to what I love doing best.
Photo: McKenzie Coyle